


To Live, To Learn

by Sent2TheBeast



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Healing, M/M, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 11:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11873886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sent2TheBeast/pseuds/Sent2TheBeast
Summary: "When they finally make it to the loft, Alec kicks off his boots at the doorway. It’s automatic, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, until he catches Magnus’ eye, a bemused glimmer in them. 'Oh…sorry,' Alec can feel the blushing, and he hates that he is already messing up this reunion by getting too comfortable in the place he had not-so-secretly begun to call home."Jumping on this post 2x20 Shadowhunters train. Alec and Magnus spend some time together after they leave the party at The Hunter's Moon.





	To Live, To Learn

They can’t stop holding each other. As they walk, their arms grip ever tighter at the other’s side, and Alec keeps biting his lip to refrain from asking Magnus if he would rather portal. He’s not quite sure whether Magnus is recovered enough for a late night stroll, but he doesn’t know if using his magic is any better. So instead he just lets Magnus lean on him, reveling in a weight he had almost forgotten, a weight he had longed to feel again, and he says nothing, he let’s Magnus lead the way. It doesn’t take long for them to lace their hands together, a silent offering from Alec to take whatever is left of his strength, but Magnus just wants to remember what it feels like to have a calloused hand in his. They take nothing from each other. Not right now, not when it still feels that the two of them are walking on egg shells, and have only just learned how to float. 

 

They walk in silence, and they both prefer it that way, too tired to talk about all the ways they went wrong, everything that had made them angry in the first place. There would be more time for that now. Alec simply smiles to himself in the darkness, a calm settling deep into his bones. Magnus keeps staring down at their hands, as if he had thought he might never get to have this again. 

 

When they finally make it to the loft, Alec kicks off his boots at the doorway. It’s automatic, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, until he catches Magnus’ eye, a bemused glimmer in them. “Oh…sorry,” Alec can feel the blushing, and he hates that he is already messing up this reunion by getting too comfortable in the place he had not-so-secretly begun to call home. 

 

“No need to apologize, Alexander,” Magnus chuckles lightly, a hand brushing across Alec’s cheek. “I just didn’t realize how much I missed this,” 

 

And Alec’s smile lights up the world, it’s glowing, and happy, and crooked, and Magnus finds himself falling in love with this Shadowhunter all over again. 

 

“I finally feel like I can breathe,” is Alec’s only reply, as his eyes skirt over the loft. His home. A place he wasn’t sure he’d ever get to see again. And Magnus can’t help but place a soft whisper of a kiss on Alec’s cheek. He walks toward the bedroom, exhaustion heavy in his limbs, and Alec can’t help but follow, because Magnus is magnetic, he’s hypnotic, he’s been away from Alec for three days too long, and Alec never wants to be so far away from him again. 

 

Magnus snaps his fingers, heart swelling at Alec’s scandalous “Magnus!” when magic surges through his fingertips “Don’t you think you’ve exerted yourself enough?” 

 

“High Warlock of Brooklyn,” Magnus teases, wrapping fingers around Alec’s belt loops, and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. And Alec is too busy smiling to let the kiss land properly. “I’m pretty sure I can conjure us up a piping hot bubble bath with just a batting of my eyelashes,” 

 

“Us?” Alec licks his lips, and Magnus bites back a smile, because he knows Alec isn’t aware of what he’s doing. 

 

“Only if you want to,” Magnus adds casually “I for one have had plans for a well deserved soak.” 

 

Alec says nothing, just flashes the barest hint of a smile and peels off his jacket. Magnus can’t stop his hands from going to Alec’s waist, gently tugging off Alec’s shirt as Alec’s own fingers remove Magnus’ coat. Alec slides a hand across Magnus’ ribs, trying desperately to commit the feeling of his skin to memory. 

 

Alec’s eyes follows every movement of Magnus’ hands as he removes his rings, his bracelets, and necklaces, and places them gently on the bathroom counter. When he’s done, he extends his hand, raising an eyebrow in a hopeful question. Alec doesn’t hesitate in entwining their fingers, bare feet treading lightly over the cold tiles, lowering himself down in the water and sighing as relief spread through his entire body. 

 

Magnus sighs as he feels knots he didn’t know existed melt when warmth surrounds his legs, his torso, his shoulders. He smiles softly at Alec, their legs pressed up against each other, their eyes alight with the newfound hope that they would survive anything. They don’t break the silence that settles thick and heavy in the air between them for a very long time. Until a mischievous smile spreads on Alec’s face and he leans forward, his hand coated with bubbles and says “Hey…Who am I?” he runs his fingers through his hair so that it sticks up, and presses his fingers to his face, shaping them around his lips until it forms a goatee. He pulls his shoulders back, rubs his fingers together and says “I’m not being cryptic, I’m being coy.” 

 

Magnus’ smile ignites a fire in Alec’s heart, as he chuckles to himself. “Come here,” and his voice turns rough and deep. His hand wrapping around Alec’s neck, pulling him close, capturing his lips between his own. Alec wastes no time in running his fingers through Magnus’ hair, fingers tugging lightly without even realizing he’s doing it. Magnus bites back a moan as he deepens the kiss, and there was no intention of this leading to anything, not tonight. But Magnus couldn’t help how Alec’s touch made his skin tingle, made it burn. They kiss slow and lazy for what feels like a second and an eternity at the same time. Magnus is the first to pull away, running a thumb over his lip. 

 

“You are the only person I will ever let touch my hair,” Magnus says, realizing that his hair gel is slowly being eroded by the soap that lingered on Alec’s fingertips. Magnus sighs dramatically, because what would his life be like without a dash of drama in everything? He holds his breath and slinks down until his head is entirely submerged. He magics away his makeup, and lets the bathwater soak into his skin, his hair falling down on his forehead. He’s about to come up for air, when he realizes Alec’s never seen him this way. Of course, Alec’s seen him battered, and broken, he’s seen him exposed, he’s seen him naked, but he’s never seen him completely and utterly bare. And Alec’s words keep circulating in his head _I don’t think I can live without you_ and he knows that it’s important to try, to try and to trust, to let himself be vulnerable again. 

 

When he finally comes up, he is surprised at how terrified he is as his eyes slowly drift upwards to Alec’s face. Alec’s face, which is of course, full of amazement and wonder. Alec’s eyes which are full of stars. Alec staring at him with awe radiating from every part of his body. He pulls Magnus close to him, he pressed their foreheads together, he brushes his lips over Magnus’ eyelids “How did I get so lucky?” and the words roll off his tongue as if he worships every letter. 

 

Magnus swallows past the lump forming in his throat, and puffs out his chest. “I am a marvel, aren’t I?” he teases, and his breath catches in his throat when Alec says 

 

“Yes,” and it’s so sincere and so honest that it actually stuns Magnus into silence. And he has to say something stupid about the bath getting cold, even though he’d used his magic to make sure that it wouldn’t do that. And Alec is quick to jump out of the tub, and he’s grabbing them towels, and he’s wrapping one around Magnus’ shoulders, and pressing kisses as delicate as snow across his back. He goes for his own towel, and Magnus can see the bruise curling around his hips and across his abdomen. He rests his hand gently over the parabati rune on Alec’s skin. And he hates the darkness that clouds Alec’s brow.

 

"How is it?" Magnus asks, brushing his thumb over the worst of the bruise. 

 

“It still hurts,” Alec says softly, his hand resting over Magnus’ “But I can feel him…he’s faint, like he’s a ghost, like the thread is still fragile and could break at any moment. And…I don’t know, it feels off, a little bit, like he’s not entirely there. But” and Magnus cannot comprehend the joy that rushes into Alec’s face “I’m whole again”

 

Magnus doesn’t mean for his smile to turn sad because he isn’t. He’s incredibly happy that Alexander is safe, and alive, and not missing a literal part of his soul. And he hopes that Alec can’t see the way he’s fighting back a frown. Alec, who is still staring down at where their hands meet on his chest, over the rune he had watched fade from existence not a few hours before. “And it’s not just Jace,” he adds, eyes finally coming to meet Magnus’ “It’s you too, it’s that we found our way back,”

 

“We did, didn’t we?”

 

“But we still need to talk,” Alec says seriously, and it almost makes Magnus laugh. 

 

Magnus pulls Alec close, presses his hand against Alec’s cheek, runs his thumb gently against Alec’s skin, presses the most delicate of kisses on his lips. “Just not tonight,” 

 

“No,” Alec agrees, leaning in to the touch “Not tonight,” 

 

They stand there for a moment just breathing each other in, afraid to move, to shatter this moment of calm. Eventually, the adrenaline rush fades, and Magnus can feel the exhaustion weighing heavy on his bones. He lets his arms slip from Alec’s sides, he keeps only the tips of their fingers together as he makes his way to the comfort of his red silk sheets. He does not bother with clothes, he merely drops his towel unceremoniously on the floor and all but dives into bed. He chuckles lightly, eyelids already beginning to fall shut, as Alec pulls the covers up to Magnus’ chin, runs a hand carefully through Magnus’ hair. “Goodnight, Magnus,” Alec whispers. 

 

And Magnus freezes then, brow furrowing at the continuing lack of weight to his right. “Alexander?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Are you…going somewhere?”

 

“Oh I,” and although Magnus’ eyes are closed, he can tell Alec’s got his hand at his neck, and his lips between his teeth. “I wasn’t sure if, uh, if you…”

 

“I had no intentions of letting you out of my sight any time soon,” Magnus states, plain and simple, and the most honest he's been in awhile. He taps the empty place on the bed, and smiles to himself as he feels Alec slip in beside him. It takes all of three seconds for Alec to turn on his side, and wrap an arm around Magnus’ stomach, pressing gentle kisses to Magnus’ chest before he buries his head in Magnus’ shoulder. 

 

And just like that, everything clicks back into place. The world up until that moment warped and broken in a way that had been almost imperceptible, until Alec had found his way back in their bed, and planted himself directly back into the gaping holes in Magnus’ heart. Magnus’ fingers brush along Alec’s back, unconsciously tracing runes Magnus had by now begun to memorize. Magnus could feel the tension in Alec’s shoulders fade with every passing second, and he searches desperately through the foggy haze of semi-consciousness for something sweet to say. 

 

“I haven’t slept since…” the words _since the night you walked away_ sit at the forefront of Magnus’ mind, but Alec is far kinder than that “Since the night we fought,” 

 

“You haven’t?” and he tries desperately to hide the hint of relief that worms its way into his chest. 

 

“I’ve tried, but it just…I’m just…” Alec hides his burrows his head as deep into Magnus’ neck as it will go, as he searches for the right words “I’m not used to sleeping alone anymore,” 

 

“Neither am I,” Magnus whispers the words into Alec’s hair, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. 

 

“I didn’t know how much it would hurt, not being with you.” And Magnus’ heart could just burst at the sincerity in Alec’s voice, the honesty with which he approached all things in life. “I meant what I said you know,” Alec’s right hand runs light lines across Magnus’ rib cage, causing his breath to catch in his throat “I don’t think I can live without you,” he tangles their legs together, he presses a kiss to Magnus’ neck, and wraps his arm tighter around Magnus’ torso “And I’ll never let you go,” Alec sighs, his words growing slow and sleepy “Never agin,” within moments Magnus can hear Alec’s light snores, and it brings tears to his eyes. He chuckles to himself in the darkness, thinking there has never been a more perfect moment in his entire life. Over four hundred years, and holding Alec and listening to the sound of his breathing, is the best thing he’s ever had. 

 

He can feel sleep clawing desperately at his skin, begging and pleading for him to succumb to the night, to rest, and to heal from the events of the day. But he fights it off for just a minute longer so he can commit this moment to memory. He listens for just a few seconds more to the light snoring, feels the weight of Alec’s arms across his body, the head on his shoulder, the warmth that flows between them. Although he cannot see, his room is so dark, he looks down at his Alexander, and he whispers “I love you,” before he finally allows himself to fall asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments and critiques are welcome, you can find me at fatal-vision.tumblr.com or right here on AO3!


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